fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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