8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
