White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
