Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
