i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
