its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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