i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
