Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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