Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
