Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
