Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
