You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I am never drinking with the goths again.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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