Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
