Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize