she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
