Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
