38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
