I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
