Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My balls are so social today.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
