She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
