I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
