This is not my ceiling
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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