A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
