OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
