Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
