I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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