dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
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