what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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