Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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