Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
