No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Your cock deserves a montage
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
