so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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