So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize