im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
