he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
