I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She's the barista slut.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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