i barfeds in our rink
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
