If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
