Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
