Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
