stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
