eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize