omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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