as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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