Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
