The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
