He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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