it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize