I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
