i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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