Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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