Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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