I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
