Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You're so nebulous sometimes
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
