Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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