dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
