It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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