This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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