Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
